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A sincere compliment goes a long way

My last school had an award ceremony every six weeks.  It was important to recognize all students in one way or another.  The kids soon decided that getting an award wasn't really that special, and the teachers would find the certificates in the trash and on the floor at the end of the day.  

I could tell that it meant more to a student to hear a meaningful compliment.  I'm sure that encouraging, supportive words are remembered a lot longer than pieces of paper with the words "super student" printed on them.  Saying "good job" or "way to go" doesn't cut it with a lot of kids.  They need to hear supportive words that are meant only for them.

Children and adults know when someone is sincere.  Principals who leave meaningful, positive notes in teachers' mailboxes can accomplish so much more than those who seem to look for things to criticize or say nothing at all.  It just makes people strive to succeed when they know that their hard work is appreciated. 

A personal note on this subject happened to me when my son was about eight.  We were coming home from a wrestling competition, and he had a beautiful medal for coming in 13th place.  My husband and I were bragging on him and his medal when he gave us a disgusted look and said, "There were only thirteen guys in the competition."  He did not like wrestling, and we had told him he should stay the course and only quit at the end of the season.  It would have been better if we had told him that we were proud that he had done his best and that we understood that wrestling was not his favorite sport. 

With computers, it's easy to generate all sorts of certificates.  Listening to kids and responding so that they know you care makes more sense to me.

awards

Posted: Sunday, August 10, 2008 1:13 PM by Betty
Comments

Melissa B. said:

I think kids expect to be honored, and it's getting a tad out of hand. They get participation trophies for sports, certificates for everything, and it really diminishes the meaning of a job well done, don't you think? BTW, don't forget to Share the Caption Love! It's that time again: Time for the Silly Summer Sunday Sweepstakes--come play along!

# August 10, 2008 2:05 PM

MysteryTeacher said:

I agree with Melissa.  There are kids who work their hardest and never get an award.  I hate that.  My goal this year is to find the joy in each one of my students and let them know they are wonderful for that reason.  I want to encourage them and let them know when they make small goals.  I have ELL and some of them are way behind and really need encouragement.

# August 10, 2008 11:28 PM

Aparajita Bhattacharjee said:

I would just like to add that it does a lot of good than just writing a note of appraisal. I have this kid of Grade 3 who hates to write. But when he listens to me and obeys my command I do not forget to take his example for others inthe same period more often than once. One day, when I scolded him for not being disciplined and sincere he saw it that I appreciated him for the trouble that he undertook despite his dislikke for that work------ he generally is reluctant to write, but that day he presented me the most beautiful handwriting of his Icould ever have imagined. A sincere compliment made in the class the next day has indeed gone a long way. There is sucha tremendous chamnge in his behavior.

# August 11, 2008 7:02 AM

Soy said:

I used to have a teacher who used to leave notes of encouragement to my workbooks. I think because of her I studied English language so I could speak like her. She literally shaped my future.

# August 11, 2008 7:24 AM

Senorita Hache said:

I definitely agree that meaningful compliments make a much larger impact than certificates.  I received tons of meaningless certificates and ribbons from sports to music to school and I hardly remember any of them.  However, I do remember the medals I received in track/cross country that I worked hard for.  I also remember my mom being quoted in a newspaper saying that I had "dedication".  Finally I will never forget once being told that I had "quiet strength".  Those were both very meaningful compliments from adults who I looked up to, and I will never forget them.  Now that I am a teacher, I am trying to take time to individually compliment my students on their strengths.  I was happy to read your blog about this topic because it is true that kids see right through you when you give a false compliment.  It is the truly meaningful things that are remembered.

# August 12, 2008 12:40 AM

Nancyjane said:

You are so right.  I think this goes for other staff members as well.  So often I think something nice about an idea or lesson but fail to mention it to the associated teacher.  I think this year I'm going to try to say the nice things I think to staff and students alike.  Scientest.

# August 12, 2008 2:47 PM

Elementaryhistoryteacher said:

Hi!  I stopped by via NYCEducator and a few others as well.  You are so right about a properly placed comment.  They have worked wonders with me in the past with students, parents, and colleagues.  

# August 12, 2008 3:35 PM
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